Honoring Grandma

When Grandma passed away I spent a lot of time trying to determine whether or not I should make the journey to Utah for her Funeral. As we saw the date that was chosen for the event (the Monday my John and Mason were leaving for Victoria Falls with John's brother Dean) and the expense of the plane ticket ($3000.00 or so) we saw it was not wise for me to make the trip. I didn't feel that Grandma would be disappointed in me for remaining at my "post" beside my little crew in Joburg. But still, I wanted to find some way to honor her and let her know that I would take time from my life to think of hers.

I felt it pure inspiration as the names of Brother and Sister Hooks came into my mind. They are dear friends of my grandparents; having traveled with them and known them as neighbors for many years in Tucson. The Hooks are serving as missionaries for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints here in Johannesburg. My grandma had sent me emails asking me to meet them, but my efforts had reached a dead end as they travel outside the city for their mission at times and I had no phone number to reach them. At Grandma's passing it came to me that the best thing I could do to honor her was to meet with them. Not only could I have some time to learn more about Grandma by visiting with them, I could also honor one of Grandma's greatest passions and talents; knowing people and putting them together. My grandma could speak to you for two minutes and know someone you were related to and know them well. If you belong to our church it would only take her one minute. Not only could she connect you to a friend or relative of hers, she would then proceed to let you know how that person was doing; and she would further encourage you to contact that person and let them know how you were doing. That was the woman she was. It was downright embarrassing at times, but it was her thing. And it was a thing she was very, very good at.

It took me some time and maturity to realize that these people Grandma could connect you to weren't just acquaintances to her. They were FRIENDS. Grandma and Grandpa have SO MANY FRIENDS. And they, all of them, love my grandparents. My Grandma was so good at having and being a friend. And that gift, over all the travels and moves and changes I have experienced in my life, has come to mean the world to me.

Meeting Grandma's friends and connecting them with me was the best way on earth, save being at Grandma's funeral in the flesh, that I could honor her.

So I combed my kids' hair, and ran around town finding licorice and chocolate (Grandma had told me the Hooks' loved these treats) and met with Brother and Sister Hooks. It was delightful for me, even though I was late and my kids were less than perfect (isn't that the way it goes? You want to "show them off" and then act like little terrors, sigh...). I learned about my Grandma, I cried about her, and they cried with me. Their love for her and Grandpa is so true, so real, so much what the love of friends ought to be.

Being, I think, the only grandchild who was not present at my Grandmother's funeral was a very hard and sad experience for me. But it was hard and sad because I missed being with my family, I missed not hearing the stories and not hugging my Grandpa. But I feel in every way I've pleased Grandma by meeting her friends. And isn't that what mourning and honoring those who've passed is all about? Maybe some day I'll remember a friend who lives in the town of an acquaintance I'm speaking with and I'll suggest that acquaintance look them up; and in that I'll be honoring and pleasing my Grandma too. But, for now, listening to fun stories of my Grandparents' and connecting to them through their friends will be honor enough to make Grandma smile. I love you Grandma, I miss you (and Brother Hooks likes black licorice, not red :)