We are keeping a budget.
It is great that there is enough for us to pay our mortgage, eat (even eat out sometimes) and buy Sunday shoes when the kids grow out of theres.
We are very blessed. Sufficient for our needs, and then some to boot (I say this because we have been on two trips in the last 6 months; more travel than 90% of the world's population will enjoy in their entire lifetime).
So, why do I feel "squeezed"?
Though I know we are very blessed, I look at our "bottom line" and wonder why it can't provide "extras" like a Spruces update to heighten basement ceilings and whiten kitchen cupboards.
I don't need those things right now, but there is this unfair idea of mine that if I save up, if I go without some stuff (J.Crew's Fall Lineup, for one) that at some future date (read; before our oldest leaves the nest) there will be "more and to spare" for such projects.
savings=sacrifice for me.
sacrifice=reward! for me.
but sometimes it isn't so. Sometimes its got to be that the sacrifice and the savings are done for their own sake, and not with the anticipation of some kind of reward.
I'm really trying to get this. Really trying hard.
How do you smile under budget? How do you posture your perspective so that financial matters don't matter too much? How do you choose to be happy with the blessings, and steer clear away from the abstract wants that can distract and detract from the goodness of the comfort of the life you live?
Have a wonderful Monday. Mine is full of thoughts like these. Hope your thoughts are happy and good!
12 comments:
Funny that you posted this today because my husband and I were just having this conversation this morning! We know that we are disciplined with our spending, but we could always do "better," whatever that means. Right now we do our best to get excited about bargain deals and the times we are disciplined enough to say no to nonessentials! :)
I stumbled upon your blog somehow a few weeks ago and was sucked in by similarities to my life- I think I stayed up way too late one night reading many of your posts. Anyway...I have had these EXACT thoughts this weekend about money and wants and perspective. You put it into words perfectly. My wants right now have to do with a lot of paint and tile....well, and a rug- (isn't there always a rug??) ;)
I'm really trying hard today to get back to that peaceful place of letting go.
Living with Grandma and Grandpa, and living in their home now that they are gone has really helped me with this. They left behind a house FULL of stuff. Very little of it has any sentimental value to the rest of us. We all know the hours Grandma spent making her house "just so" and now she is gone and the house is being emptied of all this stuff and will be sold to a stranger who will change everything.
The ONLY things we can take with us from this life is our experience and our relationships!! Why spend time and money on "stuff" when PEOPLE are what matter. I have not purchased a new clothing item for myself in quite a while, mainly because I don't have any money for such things, but when I have the urge to pull out the credit card and splurge, I am remembering that what I am wearing really doesn't matter. It is how I treat other people that really counts. (you're never fully dressed with out a smile you know)
Yes, a home needs to be clean and livable, and we and our children need to be clean and groomed. The rest? Does it REALLY matter??
EASIER SAID THEN DONE I KNOW. But I am working REALLY hard to remember these life lessons. And I hope and pray they will stick so I can pass them down to my kids.
That is how I am "trying to get it" anyway.
Love,
Jenny
i have had to live "small" for long enough that i've sort of figured out a few things that have helped me with this.
first, it's not actually a "sacrifice" if it's really just a "delay gratification". as latter day saints, it seems to me that we often think we are sacrificing something, when actually we do so fully expecting to be blessed above and beyond what we've actually "given up". we pay tithing expecting the windows of heaven to open. we pay fast offering with the expectation that our own needs will be taken care of in times of scarcity. we even fast our two meals once a month in full knowledge that our bellies will be filled, soon.
another things i think we do is confuse actual "needs" with "wants" on a regular basis. so in an effort to actually offer something to the lord, to truly sacrifice, i've found that one of the only things i have to give him, that i won't actually get back in equal or greater measure, is time spent in his service. perhaps that is why we are given so many different ways to serve him in his kingdom. (callings, attendance at meetings, temple, missionary work, visiting teaching, bearing another's burdens, etc.)
(continued...in next comment)
and on a different train of thought...i eschew commercialism as much as possible. by not introducing that type of media into our home, we minimize the amount of "I want that!" feeling that seems to inevitably accompany exposure to more "stuff".
old-timey delights, like a sunday drive through the canyon, a turn on the swing set at the park, taking a walk while holding hands, making homemade cards and notes for people, singing round the piano, board games, and so forth, are a way to slow our frenetic minds down and enjoy the simpler pleasures in life, while creating happy memories together.
thrifting for clothes is a skill i have essentially mastered. it's like learning to successfully fish...takes some time, a good eye, patience, and some days you score big and others not so much, but you can attire yourself in a nice way without checking account sticker shock.
don't set foot in the mall. make almost no exceptions to this policy!
make do or do without, use it up or use it out.
accessories (scarves, hats, necklaces etc) can give an old wardrobe an updated look for pennies compared to a new wardrobe. so can creating new combinations of things with the clothes you have. swap and switch items with a friend that's your same size for a special date or just a week of "feeling groovy". you'll both enjoy it.
realize that satan is very effective in creating a hole that seems like it will only be filled by the acquisition of something new. or some yummy treat. our economy bears witness to this. many people are in complete denial about their spending habits. if they tracked EVERY dime they spent for a 4 week period, they'd be in for a surprise at how much they spend on non-essentials. then they can use that information to make some changes.
you don't need to deprive yourself of all lifes little pleasures. i think some "mad money" that you don't have to account for to anyone is a good idea for everyone. but it can be small, and then you'll appreciate it even more.
there are lots of websites on ways to save money. a quick google search will give you far more info than i could possibly serve up. but i just wanted to share some of my thoughts on living within means. till med school, i had never been in debt, and i know that's not possible for everyone but i've worked hard to live within our means. even now we have a lot less debt than your average single student incurs by graduation...and that's with a house, two kids, and two cars. and no, my income barely dents that (as a part-timer, my pay barely covers the medical co-pay and deductible, taxes and tithing). so we are very blessed. remember that things are just that...things. they could go up in smoke in an instant, as we saw happen last night in herriman. and you've seen yourself through your adventures abroad how little some people have, yet they find happiness. that's hard to do when everyone around you has "more" than you, but cultivating a sense of gratitude is one of the best things we can do. but no doubt, it's a hard thing sometimes. be gentle with yourself katiegirl! you're doing just fine with all that's on your plate! ♥
(Continuted Part 2 of 3)
and on a different train of thought...i eschew commercialism as much as possible. by not introducing that type of media into our home, we minimize the amount of "I want that!" feeling that seems to inevitably accompany exposure to more "stuff".
old-timey delights, like a sunday drive through the canyon, a turn on the swing set at the park, taking a walk while holding hands, making homemade cards and notes for people, singing round the piano, board games, and so forth, are a way to slow our frenetic minds down and enjoy the simpler pleasures in life, while creating happy memories together.
thrifting for clothes is a skill i have essentially mastered. it's like learning to successfully fish...takes some time, a good eye, patience, and some days you score big and others not so much, but you can attire yourself in a nice way without checking account sticker shock.
don't set foot in the mall. make almost no exceptions to this policy!
make do or do without, use it up or use it out.
accessories (scarves, hats, necklaces etc) can give an old wardrobe an updated look for pennies compared to a new wardrobe. so can creating new combinations of things with the clothes you have. swap and switch items with a friend that's your same size for a special date or just a week of "feeling groovy". you'll both enjoy it.
realize that satan is very effective in creating a hole that seems like it will only be filled by the acquisition of something new. or some yummy treat. our economy bears witness to this. many people are in complete denial about their spending habits. if they tracked EVERY dime they spent for a 4 week period, they'd be in for a surprise at how much they spend on non-essentials. then they can use that information to make some changes.
you don't need to deprive yourself of all lifes little pleasures. i think some "mad money" that you don't have to account for to anyone is a good idea for everyone. but it can be small, and then you'll appreciate it even more.
We don't have a job. No shoes. Certainly no J. Crew. Not our fault. Be grateful.
oKAy, that's weird!
when i tried to post my comment earlier tonight, it gave me an error message. like three times. i even refreshed the page and it wasn't there...so i didn't realize it was (partially at least...the first third didn't make it) here. i'll let you decide if you want to delete it. (I emailed you the whole thing)
Great thoughts. Drew and I often think that if we save now, then we will be prepared for missions later. That is my reward. I know it is not doing it just to sacrifice. But, that is what I want more than anything.
Well, I'm sorry to say that I took you $5 over your budget on sprucing up your pots - sorry! :)
Katie, as you know Ben and I have just moved to the midwest and he has just started Med School. With 2 babies and a stay at home mom we are on a tight budget. I was having issues last week and looked for inspiration from lds.org. I found this talk by Elder Maxwell called "Content with the Things Allotted unto Us" that was just perfect for me. Maybe it will inspire you. I have had to read it many times to "get it," now I must work on implementing it. thanks for your blog post.
It's so nice to hear I'm not alone in these feelings. I have the same dilemmas in my head- how do we make this amount of money and yet I still feel pinched? I know there are people with less resources than I but they seem to have the same things (or more) than me. Sometimes it just doesn't make sense.
I really have no advice or great tips but I sure am grateful that you expressed your frustrations. It really did help me feel like I'm not alone and I'm not crazy for thinking the same things!
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