Big Ideas...

One of the creative ideas from Jeni's show

I've had some big ideas about this little blog lately. I hope you enjoy the upcoming posts...my plan is to focus a little less on myself and invite you to peek into the lives of some very cool people I know.

For instance, I'd like you to get to know the people behind "Children in Need" charity. Rebecca and her band of sons were my introduction to the nation of Haiti. I'd like you to see what she is doing for others, and how my friend Jenna has helped.

I'd also like you to see some of the creative women I've admired. I'll be dropping by Jeni's show tonight, and hope to schedule an interview with her so you can see the gift she has for making something great out of something quite ordinary...

I want you to see some of the places we've been; places we went to before this blog. Sweden and Haiti and bits of Europe. Places that seeded whatever passion for home design I possess (which some say isn't much!).

Because the purpose for this blog is to show you and my posterity (and some crazy days, to remind myself) that life as a Graham is good, you'll still have to put up with a lot of personal essays and musings about whatever is on my mind. Yet, so many other people and experiences give depth and warmth to why I am the way I am, and to who I am becoming.

For now, it is just a plan. But come Thanksgiving time, I hope you help me see my big ideas take shape.

taking their turns

San Antonio TX, last Spring '09

with the flu. Molly has risen from her bed of affliction with just enough time to fluff the pillows so Madi could take her place. I think Mason is next, he left for school with a splitting headache; that's the way they say it starts. At least we'll get through it fast. Symptoms seem to last only a few days, with lingering runny noses after fever has gone.

I've felt overwhelmed with places to go and things to do lately, but now that I have to change plans to care for one who needs to be home I see that the world keeps spinning without me! How distracted I must get to think that I have so little time to be nurturing, going slowly, and observing the kids I love. When they are sick, I see better that I can be home with them and give in to their longings for drinks in bed and an extra story without feeling like I have to do this or that; because the job I have to do more than any other is take care of the children who I mother.

The Wisdome of Charlotte...

some of the miracles I've seen

As in Charlotte's web. As the girls took in that film today I heard an exchange between Wilbur the pig and his loyal friend the web word smith. Charlotte's days on the earth are waning, and Wilbur longs for her to stay. She assures him it cannot be, an he rightfully credits her with saving his life. His child-like words go something like this;

'I'm owe everything to you. Without you I'd be nothing. All the words you wrote, I never believed I was those things. You've given me a miracle Charlotte'
Charlotte kindly responds (paraphrasing);
'All those things I wrote, I mearly paraphrased what I observed. I was not the miracle. The miracle was you.'

I thought about this little blog, the way I try to write what I observe in the people I love and the things I see in the world. I write what I observe. And in doing so see miracles all around me.

The miracle of having a husband who is devoted and caring and mine.
The miracle of 6 unique souls all calling me their mother.
The miracle of experiences in unique corners of this world.
The miracle of friendships formed and deepened over time.
The miracle of creativity.
The miracle of a system of belief that transforms and makes us new as we sacrifice to live our faith.

On Tulips

An original painting left for us by the artist, who happened to to have designed and built our home on Pacer Way.

This morning I didn't work out. I was up on time to sweat, but I instead sat in the comfy leather chair and read scripture. I wrote in my diary of the good things the Lord has done for me and mine over the last day or two. And I thought about this story. I heard it in a meeting of the Relief Society of our church. It was told by a wise apostle, President Henry B. Eyring:

"I talked with a Relief Society member about a visit she had made. It was to a woman who would soon lose her husband suddenly and tragically. In recent years the woman had only intermittent contact with Relief Society. The visitor prepared by stopping at a shop to buy flowers. It was a season when the tulips were stacked for sale in many colors. She chose one color, her favorite, but then felt impressed to try another. She didn’t know why she selected yellow, but she did. When she presented the yellow tulips at the door, the woman smiled and said, “Come. See my backyard garden.” It was filled with yellow tulips in full bloom. The woman said, “I was just wondering if I should cut some for the house. But now I can leave them and enjoy them a little longer in my garden because you brought me these.” They chatted pleasantly as if they were old friends. From that impression to bring some flowers and to choose yellow tulips, that visiting teacher had evidence that she was on the Lord’s errand. When she told me, I could hear the joy in her voice."

As I thought of this simple account of a woman feeling inspired in a very small thing, I wondered who needed yellow tulips from me today. And as I wondered this a very little voice whispered an idea to my heart. Today-and every day-someone needs yellow tulips (in the way of a phone call, a hug, a note in the mail, a text message or a home made meal) from you. Who is it today?

Another very wise man, one of the most wonderful Stake Presidents I have ever known, implored those whom he looked after to seek that little inspiration every day which invites us to minister to the one. In his words, he asked us to pray each morning to know whom the Lord would have us minister to that day, and to stay on our knees until something-a whisper, an idea, a little tugging feeling-was directed toward someone else. Perhaps a member of our family. Maybe a neighbor, or a friend living far away. President Riding further encouraged us to write down that thought or feeling on a little note card, and to carry around that card until you have completed that errand. And then report on your deeds to the Lord in your evening prayers.When I followed this council, I felt truly connected to heaven. And you know what? Often I found that others felt inspired to serve one of my own-and even to serve me.

So I ask again, who needs yellow tulips from you today? Find out, and like the woman in the the story above, feel joy in being on an errand for the Lord.

happy weekend.

p.s. To hear other wise words of President Eyring, go here now.

Mornings...

clip boards hold weekly check lists

Kids fill in a circle each morning after they complete their check list

weekly reminders of where kids have to be on which days are kept on their check list

Many have asked about our morning routine. Though I've used this method for a few years now, we have bugs to work out whenever school begins again. This year in particular, with Mason leaving for school almost an hour before the others, we are accepting the fact that mornings are shorter for him and therefor less productive. But as we've gotten into the groove we are finding that the system works well for our family...Here's how it goes;

John and I get up early. Too early if you ask me. But if we don't rise an hour or so before our children then we don't get any exercise. John also uses this time to read scriptures and have quiet time to himself. We burn the candle at both ends, so so mornings we are stone still asleep when the alarm goes off. ugh.

Mason is up around 6. Mason is slow in the mornings. While he has over an hour to do the jobs on his list, he barely makes it past "eat and make your lunch". Oh, and he takes a shower too. And bless him for being clean (stinky teenager ;) I do appreciate that Mason's room is straight nearly every day. The main thing I'd like to see him do is manage his weekly job (to contribute to the family) and remember to feed his dog!

The other kids are hoisted out of bed for scriptures at 6:40 a.m. This is so John and Mason can be with us for family scripture study. Because I know you are wondering; we get the kids out of bed beginning in kindergarten. Though Molly and Lucy are usually the only children who come to scriptures of their own constitution, we don't "get them up" until they go to public school. We drag, cojole, piggy back and brow beat our other children to the library to sing, pray, recite scripture and study the word of God for 15 minutes of our lives each day.

Then, Mason and John are off to their daily grind and the others try to blaze through their check lists before heading off to school. They have enough time to get their 6 daily assignments done before they go, but it is rare right now that they do. I often find them in the recesses of our basement curled up in a blanket and a book instead of dutifully making their beds...but we are working on some motivational tools to help them see the value of getting the work done before choosing more leisure time-takers. For example, Porter now earns the time he gets to spend playing video games on Friday. 10 minutes for every day the chore list gets done before school. And minutes can be taken from his accrued time if he throws a fit about his jobs or if he goes back to bed after scriptures (which has happened many times!)

The only other "family responsibility" we demand of our children during the week is their dinner night. I've mentioned once before that one night a week one of our kids is in charge of helping me cook, present, and clean up the dinner. It is a long night for them, but we get to spend a lot of time together and I get to train and teach valuable life skills like cooking, serving others before oneself, and doing dishes ;). Oh, and Mason does his own laundry every Friday. That future college kid and missionary needs to know how to clean his clothes, and it will take some time for him to get that down to an easy science...

What are your morning routines? Do you do early work outs before your kids wake up, or do you somehow magically fit that in after they are gone to school? Are chores part of your kids' day? I'd love to know how other families do it. Leave me a comment.

Some might say we expect a lot of work out of our kids. And they are right. There are few families I know

Monday's Activity proposal...

Porter creates an agenda for Monday's Family Night Activity

Monday night at the conclusion of our Family Home Evening John made assignments for next week. He asked Porter to plan the activity (which is to follow the lesson but rarely does because we start late and the kids would rather have the treat than the activity, but that isn't the point of this post.)

Porter came to me today with a plan. He had not grasped the general idea that the family night activity is supposed to be an activity we all participate in, together, at the same time.

To his great credit, Porter had observed the favorite activities of each family member and planned for all of us to participate in those activities, on our own, at the same time.

Madi; "one square" which is a solo version of "Four Square" which Madi lives and breaths for every day of her life right now.
Mason; "Sonic Unleashed" -a new Wii game Mason purchased yesterday and has yet to play. Or Rugby.
Porter; "Pokeman Ranger" a game for our Nintendo DS that Porter has just "earned" because he did not scream, hit or run away when it was time for him to have his good eye dialated during the month of September (this is a 3 day a week occurance for Porter. One in which the eye that sees is made not to see, and Porter hates "to be blind" as he calls it).
Brynley; Read. I couldn't have chosen a more favored activity for this daughter myself. He hit the nail right on the head with her...
Dad; Basketball, or work, or Rugby. John, you are a well rounded fellow in the eyes of your adoring son. I bet Porter hoped you'd be playing the basketball with him...
Mom; do stuff on the computer. As Porter read this to me he said "because you are always sitting at the computer, so it must be your favorite thing..." mental note; stop sitting at the computer (especially while Porter is present).
Molly; Princess
Lucy; Princess. The two above activities are all about dressing up and pretending to ride in carriages and dance with princes. Again, Porter's observation on his sisters' favorite past time couldn't be more perfect.

Porter has now been given many suggestions as to what activities we might do, all together, next Monday night. He was disappointed. He felt his plan made everybody happy. And I felt I learned a LOT about the keen observations of our children as they live and learn among us.

Our Trip to the City of Trees...

The capitol sits just in front of some of the greatest memories we have as a family

Susie, A sister at heart, loves my little ones. And I love hers (though they aren't so little any more)

I'm a photo taker on vacation. But not this vacation. Full of people we love and time spent relaxing with them, our trip to the old Boise neighborhood does not come with a photo essay.

But I could write an essay of friendship over the passing of time, and how it can deepen when it begins with great people like those of Hobble Creek. Too many to name, the women of our old neighborhood stand supreme in my mind as women not born to be blood but whose love and friendship has made us sisters. It is not often that one can sit down with people she knew long ago and feel that she had just spoken with them yesterday. Though distance separates, these fine friends remain dear and true and ever kind and loving toward me and mine.

The kids loved being smothered by Jenna, whose home we shared for the long weekend. She has come to share our home with us, and it was only fitting that we stay with her and her family. Susie, Jenna's mom, had played party planner extradorninaire; allowing her home to be invaded by dozens of old friends (and young children!) for days at a time. Jenna's sister Corrine and brother Ridge were like family to my children-an extension of cousins or aunts and uncles that mean the world to them.

My heart is a little too tender to express any more detail. I love Hobble Creek and think of it with fondness and nostalgia. It was the place for my finest physical hour (the RUSH triathlon) and the seedbed for the bringing of Lucy and Molly into our lives forever. It was a "Leave it to Beaver" time in our family when dad came home before dinner and coached soccer and led boy scouts. It was a season of rest and a time of deepening faith. I learned how to hear the whisperings of the Holy Ghost in the house where we once lived. John and I traveled on the longest journey we've had alone through the course of our marriage from there; leaving our kids with a capable grandma and reveling in the beauties of Hawaii. I learned to garden in Boise. And became brave enough to share myself and my home at the drop of a hat for any gathering from craft fairs to girls night out. It was a magical place because we, a budding family, began to bloom in the fertile soil of the "city of trees."

Thanks to our dear friends, the Johnsons, for hostessing us. And thanks to all our Hobble creek family, for loving us tho we have strayed from your midst. Coming there feels like coming home.

Camping with Six

The six pose at the conclusion of our successful camping trip

*Begins late, because it takes a whole lot of gear and packing for six kids to sleep warm in a tent.
*Continues with putting up a tent, on a gravel tent site, in the darkCan you say ("I've got a knot in my back!").
*Includes food; s'mores by the fire, breakfast and lunch...and a dinner bought at the Apollo Burger on the way up the canyon.
*Involves multiple lists of things to remember "next time". Things like cash to pay for the camp site, baby wipes for sticky marshmallow faces, and MY sleeping bag (where is that super warm cacoon anyway?)
*Concludes with a hike. Which conclusion took place before lunch because we ran out of firewood. And we ran out of cash, so we couldn't buy more firewood.

Lunch was served at our house, followed by afternoon naps and showers. A good "first try" for these six. We've not been camping for 3 full years. So for me, it was a success because we actually did set up a tent somewhere besides our back yard. And we slept in that tent. And we sat by a campfire. And we went on a hike. And we would do it again.

Did I say would? I meant will.

Trying to look ahead...

I've fallen into a bit of disrepair this year. Especially since about June. Scripture study is all but not happening for me. I haven't exercised regularly since we ran Ragnar. My eating habits aren't habits at all, but instead they are indulgences seasoned with a peppering of guilt. I'm looking back over my shoulder a lot; re-visiting old experiences, remembering nostalgically the adventures of past years. Not wanting to forge ahead into the blessed possibilities of tomorrow, I'm sad for having lost something of what I was; the me who cared about me enough to take care of soul and body.

I must admit, I look in the mirror and I don't like what I see. And though I'm certainly not happy with the outward appearance (no muscle! so much soft goo hanging around my middle! uneven skin tones and wrinkle, oh my!) I also am not liking me on the inside very much. I feel brittle. I feel lonely. I feel I have little to give.

That is not the me I want to be any more.

A couple of days ago a friend sent a quote :

"Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor each morning the

devil says~~
"Oh Crap, She's up!"

So, its time to become that me. Sugar, farewell. Cookies and candy, I must bid you goodbye. No more sleeping in, but exercise must happen instead. Prayers (the personal kind) morning and night-and on my knees instead of sitting up in my bed ;) Scriptures are now placed in the car, in my handbag and by my bed so I can indulge in "feasting upon the word" each day for 15 minutes. And-the change that almost needs to happen more than any other-I will do as Camilla Kimball has suggested:

"Never supress a generous thought."

Its time to think about others. The others I live with and the others around me.

wish me the best of luck. And a prayer would be nice as well.

John as Dad

John as Daddy

I went in to wish Brynley good night. She was crying. Frustrated by her less than perfect arithmetic, she said that she "felt dumb". I began to cheer lead, to encourage and to nurture. The tears kept flowing, the frustration was not laid to rest. Then her Daddy entered the room. He walked bedside, and placed his large hand on Brynley's tender cheek. Wiping tears away, John soothed his little girl, letting her know how proud he is of the way she is working and trying. Reminding her that she will grow smarter with effort and encouraging her not to give up. With calm words spoken and a touch only dad's can give, Brynley's crying ceased. She rolled onto her side, lights went out, and off she went to dreamland.

Sometimes there are words only believable when spoken by your Daddy. Compliments matter most when delivered by the man in the center of a child's life. It was this way for me. It is for those that are now mine.

John and I never bargained for a life raising six little souls. It was handed to us, one child at a time, and now sometimes we feel overwhelmed with the responsibility and the magnitude of what we are gone about doing. But in those moments, bedside, when John is Daddy and my little ones are in the palm of his hands, I know that we can do all that has been set before us. We can do it because of how John is Dad.

Standing on top of the world. Table Mountain, Capetown RSA

African nations represented; Halloween bash Joberg, RSA

Last Saturday I found myself at the Apple store. With our Apple. Which was broken. The MacGenius who serviced me was willing to download all of our data onto an external hard drive.

I felt panic. Our pictures! All of our pictures in jeopardy!

I explained to her, as clearly as I could, that I was willing to lose every pixa bite of information; Every document, every spreadsheet. But I was not willing to lose our photographs.

I asked her a dozen times to confirm that in her work she would retain every single little Kodak moment. The photos of us throwing a Halloween shin dig in Africa. The pictures of Lucy asleep next to Molly. I couldn’t bear to part with them. I was deathly afraid the genius would not be able to perform the weighty task.

She assured me she could.

I bought the external drive and left every visual memory of our family’s life over the last 2 years in her (hopefully) capable hands. I walked out feeling stripped of something vital. Not the computer, but the evidence of things experienced. The visual images of people we have loved across oceans and miles.

I didn’t know that I cling to these pictures. But I do. They remind me of the value of experience. They bring smiles and tears to me as they chronicle the life we’ve lived in and through. They are as close to a treasure as I have. No souvenir, no piece of furniture, no thing to touch or handle holds the value of the images that remind me of who we love, what we’ve seen, and who we have become because of it all.

MacGenius called Saturday night. She had retrieved everything-photos included-and the Apple is ready for me to retrieve it. I will spend an extra half hour under her tutelage to learn how to save photos in hard drives and on line so my life documented can remain safe from corrupt computers or natural disasters.

Most of you who read this blog are in those photographs. I wish for you to know that while the pictures themselves are precious, your friendship and love are more valued than the snapshots we have shared. The pictures are the reminders, but the memories stay with us even when MacGenius holds the fate of the photos in her proven to be capable hands.

Still a Top Dog...

Porter is enjoying school. He comes home telling me how he is making friends. He shares with me the kind comments from his teacher, Mrs. Jordan. His grades are good. He is happy.

But at heart, Porter is still a Top Dog. One of Mrs. Neudeck's top dogs.

Mrs. Neudeck was Porter's first grade teacher. She was awesome. Her class of "top dogs" were premier in Porter's mind as the very best and brightest the state of Texas had to offer.

Today during after-school-pretend-school in the garage, I caught Porter (named "Mr. Grant" today) encouraging his class of 3 willing students;

"Great job top dogs!" The phrase rolled out of his mouth like de ja vou.

Thank you Mrs. Neudeck, wherever you are. For being the teacher Porter adored. For treating your students like intelligent capable children. For expecting them to do their best. For bringing out the top dog in my very own kid.

He's still one of yours at heart.

(school's out tomorrow so we are going camping. See you back here on Monday.)

School after School

Sometimes in the afternoons I have to take one child or another to a practice. Others of my children do not enjoy the endless driving, so they stay home. While they are home, they play school in the garage.
John's work out white board is the chalk board. Madi is usually the teacher. The little girls and Porter use make-believe names, sit at tricycle and hotwheels desks, and raise their hands to speak.

They love their "after school-school".
And I love them.

Tea with Grandma

My Grandma is the most propper lady I have ever known. She can teach how not to behave at a dinner table with just one frosty look. And her reverent demeanor in Temple and at Church is a sermon I am glad to have been able to receive.

And now Grandma is growing old. And while she is still quick with her wit, her step is growing slow.

Grandmas and Grandpas are one of the reasons we were glad to move back to Utah. We wanted to be a little more doting on the people who've doted on us over our the course of our lives...

so imagine my happy surprise to find an invitation in my mailbox to a "tea party with Grandma". All daughters, grand daughters and great-grand daughters invited to greet and eat and the home of cousin Liz. Yippee! Girl time with Grandma.

Unfortunately, tea time was also school carnival time and send-the-boys-to-fathers- and-sons-outing time. And it was the day our house was to close in Texas. But the house didn't close and we were left in a quandry for the weekend concerning all things Pacer Way.

A little shell shocked and very over scheduled, we arrived at Grandma's tea underdressed and overstressed. I sat next to my grandma, trying to converse with her while my older daughters tapped their watches demanding a short stay so they could return to the carnival we had just come from. As Grandma looked around and asked me how I was doing I had few words to express the "up in the air" feelings I had concerning the close of our home, the newness of our life back in Utah and the immediate demands of my daughters.

I did not enjoy the moment.

My cousins surrounding me, my sisters and mother near. My Grandma kissing her great-grandbabies and my aunt chit chatting about puppies and kittens. And I, completely pre-occupied.

President Thomas S. Monson has said "Never let a problem to be solved become more important than a person to be loved." My problems, front and center, took hold of the chance to enjoy the people around me at Grandma's tea. What an important lesson I learned on this busy over scheduled evening.

Thank you Liz for the fantastic gathering. Thank you for all your preparation, for the tea cup and saucer, for the jovial welcome and the opening of your home to all of us! So very sorry to have missed the chance to enjoy the moments with you. I hope you'll give me another try-and that we could gather again. I'll do better this time around. Checking my worries at the door to enjoy time spent with people who matter most.

Laying Texas to rest

This morning's phone call was a great relief and also bittersweet. Our real estate agent, who happens to be my former running partner, my mentor and all around dear friend, called to inform us that our home is sold. Closed and Funded, Pacer way no longer is an address we own...it is a place in our past.

The relief is immense. Tender mercies, seen in hindsight, have been mercifully showered upon our family. My testimony of the Lord's timing-which was made sure with the adoption of our daughters and the experiences of past moves and adventures, is now to a point of unwavering. While I desperately wished for the timing of the sale to be sooner and the price of the home sold to be higher, I can see how Heavenly means have brought our family many blessings (including the blessings of experience). Our hearts are full of thanks. Thus, the phone call that all is well and done was sweet.

And also, it was bitter. Pacer Way was a wonderful home. While we experienced trial and challenge there, we were also given comfort and peace. Our kids were blessed with great friends and a wonderful education. I was again surrounded by friends who have become woven into the fabric of who I am learning to become. My personal growth in Texas has been monumental. The independence I came to develop was empowering. The interdependence in the marriage I enjoy deeply satisfying. My love of God and Savior is deeper and more profound. My appreciation for covenants and worship in the Temple has become too tender to express. My eyes were opened to opportunities to minister to the needs of others as a way of inviting healing and power into my personal life. I am new and more because of Pacer Way. We enjoyed the beauty of nature around us there; the wide open spaces,the horses in the pasture, the power of the wind and rain, the immensity of the heat. For these reasons, and many more, we loved where we lived. And so the phone call this morning that all is well and done was a little bitter too.

Farewell to the yellow roses of Texas. So long to the long Horns and wide open spaces. We remember you with fondness, but more fondly still we remember the friends who graced our home on Pacer Way, and we truly and fiercely miss them.

Walking for Science teachers (and Art Teachers, and Music Teachers...)

There are some things about living in Utah that are not as nice as the same things were living in Texas. The public education system, in my opinion, is one of these things. In Texas the kids had Spanish, Music, Art, and P.E. with a paid certified teacher. Until last year in our local Utah School district the kids had P.E. with a parent volunteer and music, art and science were up to the classroom teacher. No spanish, at all, until Jr. High

So, I'm pleased to see that our elementary school has ponied up (through a generous grant from the PTA aka the parents) to hire specialists to go into the classrooms and cover these subjects. That's great, I'm really happy to see it being done...

but now we've got to pay for it.

And here, we pay with one annual fund raiser. The Walk-A-Thon/Carnival/Silent Auction/Basket raffle/late night outdoor movie fund raiser. This involves many mothers (and fathers too) spending hundreds and hundreds of hours gathering donations and promoting a day dedicated to making some big bucks. It also involves children asking parents, neighbors, grandparents, bishops, dance teachers and swim coaches to "sponsor" them as they walk around the massive school playing field and earn so much per lap (Porter was our star walk-a-thoner this year, he completed 21 laps). The kids wait until the night before the pledges are due and then start making phone calls. Then we show up to support the walking. And we go back in the evening to buy over priced corndogs and play silly expensive carnival games all in the name of raising money for the school. The money gets raised, and we get to bid on some cool silent auction items and hang out as a neighborhood at the school. But lots of time and effort has been expended; families lay down their lives for a few weeks so the massive event can unfold.

So this brings me to one of the other things that Texans can do better than Utahns. Fundraise. Texas parents write letters, telling the families and businesses in their school's boundaries how much money it takes to provide the services they are going to provide and then we write our checks for as much as we can afford to support those services. End of hours spent. Money raised. Done.

Please do not misunderstand me. I am all about fun school carnivals and getting the dollars gathered-but why not let the carnival be a "not for profit" reward for the money that was raised through writing and mailing out letters? I ask you in the name of the $5 corndog we will buy for dinner tonight and the $2 a ticket fish pond game we will play why not? Letters written+money sent in vs. Dj's, auction items, baskets compiled, food concessions organized, etc. etc. etc+hours of time and energy = the same money raised. I guess not everything's bigger Texas.

Have a wonderful weekend. If you are a Texan, be grateful you wrote your check and won't be spending your Friday night at a little school carnival. You can spend your $5 on the State fair corny-dog instead ;)

Color has come to the Spruces

I know the leaves are changing with oranges and reds in the air, but a kind friend brought over some fall color of her own. A terra cotta pot of beautiful purple/blues. This was all the encouragement I needed to "nest" a little. A new pot, some additional purples and greens (all to last us through Thanksgiving, I assure you!) and now, a happy welcome awaits the guest who graces our front door.

Thanks to Heidi for bringing the beautiful botanical colors; and a warm and tender thank you for her friendship.

Signs that this is Home...

There are a few things that need to happen before I feel like a new home is ours. One of those things happened last week and it is worth making mention of here.

We made chocolate chip cookies.

And we froze some of the dough, and it now waits in the ice box (next to the 7 grain cereal and above the Costco size cheese block and the Rhodes bad-for-you-but-oh-so-good white roll dough), in bags counted with a dozen cookies each, for us to bake up in the oven and enjoy.

One simple thing that means the Spruces is home to me.

History repeats itself

I was the second of six children. And I tried to be involved in lots of things; like singing in choirs and running for student body office. My baby sisters at the time were pre school age. And whenever my mom showed up to support me, my little sisters were right there with her.

And now my girls are at my side, as we tromp from track meet to swim meet to soccer game. And they cheer for their older brothers and sisters just like my sisters cheered for me.

I don't know how my little sisters feel now about the times they were by my mother's side, cheering me on through volleyball games and cheer leader try outs. But I know how I feel about them when I look back on it all. A mixture of gratitude and compassion (poor kids!) and the sure understanding that I am loved.

And that is what these two are delivering on almost a daily basis to the heroes that are their siblings.
Go Mason! They shout.
Go Brynley!
Yea Madi! Good Job Porter!

yells in little girl voices on various athletic fields across our neighborhood. Shouts of devotion. Cheers of adoration from our smallest Grahams. Go Grahams Go!

I have a plan to show you just how great this bike is

I am an avid fan (and have been since before Martha Stewart said you were cool). I want to show my readers (about 100-200 per day, modest I know but I love them all dearly!) just how purposeful this bucket bike would be if used in my daily life. Because my daily life is a lot like theirs, and they are just wanting to see that this bike can go all the places and haul all the good stuff (people, groceries, library books etc...) that you tell them it can on your one dimensional website. They can see it all work in my 3 dimensional life! And then they'll want one for themselves, I just know they will! And so I've come up with this plan.

Here is what I propose;

1. You allow me to pick up a "scratch and dent" or "sample" bike (blue please!) at your headquarters in SLC. I will do the hauling, and I'll haul it right to the Spruces, where I live in shadow of the mountains....

2. I'll ride the bike to PTA meetings, the local grocery store, the park and even to church, and I'll blog about it-I'll blog about it daily (and sometimes more than once daily) to let you and all those readers (whose numbers will increase as the word spreads, I'm sure!) see and hear, in my own words, just how awesome this bike really is.

3. At the end of the week, we can talk about you making me a deal on the very bike I've been riding! You'll be so happy with the rave reviews you may just cut the ol' price in half, or better yet, you may see this partnership as so successful that you'll want to give me another not so scratched or sampled bike for nothin'. Really, you might want to do that, right?

Sound like a quality plan? Great! I'll look forward to hearing from you soon!
Sincerely,
Katie Graham

School Shoe of Choice '09

Each daughter desired a different color. all are satisfied. I couldn't help but join in the fun, but of course with my very own "spin"



wishing you a very colorful autumn weekend. I'll spend some of mine reading this.

This year's daily grind

Each child who reads plays piano.
Each child in Elementary school or older is aloud an activity besides.
Our Molly (who turned 5 only a short month ago) enjoys creative dance once a week.
Lucy attends preschool two mornings out of 5. Molly goes every day.
Church activities, family obligations and a volunteer responsibility at the Elementary school.
The schedule is very very full.

But I am getting my sea legs. And we are finding our way. This year, unlike last, John is with us in the evenings and that has made our life more full and more happy. Who doesn't want a kiss goodnight from daddy? Who wouldn't rather have the math wiz father help with homework? Who isn't appreciative when a load of laundry is magically folded "overnight", or dirty dishes left waiting in the sink found loaded in the dishwasher next morning? Life with John has made the busy schedule of Fall not just bareable, but enjoyable as well. To have him pop up on the soccer field for Porter's practice, or call to offer to bring Brynley home from gymnastics. Partnership parenting at its best.

Which makes this year's daily grind not such a grind after all.

A farewell to summer...

Almost on cue, the weather today is cooler, and I spent the morning watching my little girls try out their new school's playground. Pears are dropping from our trees like manna from out of heaven.

I am aching to go to the mountains, to remember what Autumn is about. The changing colors of the leaves, the way the Aspens shiver with the slight breeze of Fall.

My Texas friends are sweltering still, our African companions are coming out of winter. But here, at the Spruces, it is Autumn time in its infancy.

Farewell to this tumultuous, adventurous, surprising summer.
Hello to a welcome Fall.

Not 20, but 16

John has in the past several months mixed up the number of years we've been married. In this year of my 20th high school reunion and the celebration of our oldest son's 14th birthday John has been sure that we've been married 20 years.

And for some that could be unnerving. But for me it has only been endearing. Because we have been married what for us is a very long time. And we feel like we are comfortable with the fact that we are every day growing older together. And the together part is the part that matters.

Today we celebrate the anniversary of our vows, made 16 years ago right here in the valley where we now live.

On that morning I walked into a room in the Salt Lake Temple. In that room my soon-to-be husband knelt on his knee, and before me and the two kindly temple workers who were watching over us until our actual ceremony, my forever Love addressed me as his queen, and promised me there that he would take care of me. And that he would be my friend and love forever.

And then we promised God, together, that we would do our best to treat one another the way He would want us to. And that we would belong together and stay in each other's keeping and care until the end of eternity.

And eternity has no end.

And every day of our marriage I come to see a little more that my forever companion has kept his word. He keeps his covenants with God, and he has kept his promise to me. From the big things like how to provide for our family to the little things like hanging the pictures exactly the way I want them on the walls here at the Spruces; John is treating me like the queen he told me I was those 16 years ago while we sat alone (almost) in the Temple.

Which means that while we have not been 20 years married to one another, I look forward to the day that we will be. And to the day that it will be 30 and 40 and 50 and then on to forever.

Happy Anniversary John.

My take on Healthcare Reform

Our family waits to been seen by our Kindly South African doc. We saw her often over the 6 months we lived there. There are lots of illnesses in Africa.


Last Wednesday I had a lot to do. I mean, I had a lot to do, ya know?

One of those things was having our little girls' immunizations brought up to date. I planned for an hour spent in our new doctor's office. An hour is ample time to arrive, be seen, comfort crying daughters after they are pricked with pain and antibodies, pay our co-pay and leave.

We were there for 2.5 hours. We waited more than 90 minutes just in the waiting room.

In the waiting room was a sign that read;

If you are more than 15 minutes late for your visit today you may be asked to re-schedule. You will still be charged the copay for the late appointment. Thank you.

Why can I not charge the doctor for making me (and my anxious little ones) late for all the other things we had lined up for the day? Why should I, as a "stay at home mom" be expected to wait an unreasonable length of time to receive medical care for my kids? I watched, my friends, while drug reps walked in and out of the office with warm greetings and total access to the doctor, while little children with fevers sat in the waiting room waiting for a turn to be seen and diagnosed.

Needless to say, I don't believe he will be our doctor for long. As nice as he was to our children, as knowledgeable as he seemed about flu vaccines and meningitis shots, I feel my time ought to be given as much regard as he demands his patients give to his.

I am very skiddish about health care reform, having participated in a national health care system when we lived in Sweden (total pros and cons) and having repeatedly used the private health care system in South Africa (those who can pay are treated, end of story). I know I need to be realistic and understand that reform of some kind is in order.

Couldn't we just start with doctors who respect the time of their patients? I think that's a reform measure that would pass....

have a great (and healthy) weekend.

Pears have come to the Spruces

The acres of land where our neighborhood sits used to be an orchard. I wish I had seen it back in that day, with pears and peaches ripening in the shadow of the mountain. Today some of the homes are still graced with backyards of fruit; grapes, peaches, pears and I've heard even apples dotted over the area.

We have two pear trees, now overgrown with years and left to their own devices, but still bearing fruit to our delight!

The pears are dropping by the minute in the driveway and onto the grass in the back yard. But a week or so ago Mason looked up how to ripen the fruit, and picked several green pears to experiment with. Guess what? That teenage fruit farmer worked some magic, and for the last few days we've been feasting on pears.

I look forward to learning how to can them dehydrate them and even perhaps freeze them. for now we are just eating them (and cleaning them up off the drive way ;)

A fun reason to love life at the Spruces.

Happy Birthday Mom!

Today my mom celebrates a milestone birthday. She told us "no party". We wanted more than anything to make her happy; so no party it is.



Mom's happiest hours are spent with all her kids and grandkids gathered around her, preferabley in her home. We can't provide that today,but we are still going to celebrate!

Daughters will enjoy a breakfast "out" at one of the area's local eateries. Then mom will have a companion through out the day and into the night to chat with and consult as she does whatever she wants to do.

We think she will want to clean out her basement. My parents have just remodeled that space, and with all change comes the need to clean out, thin out and start fresh. Mom has long told us she needs the time to do this, and the help to do it with someone. So we will take turns and hand off our kids to one another so she can have a friend and daughter by her side as she thins and organizes.

Or maybe she'll just want to go shopping-and in that case we'll come along and visit as she goes.

Today is bitty brother Alex's first day of school, which brings a whole bag of mixed emotions of its own. We'll be with her through the relief and joy of knowing he's in a good place and has come a long way to be in school all day. And we'll pat her arm and wipe her tear as she laments the loss of this little daily partner she has spent all waking hours with all summer long.

We will "cater" lunch and dinner, and just let her chose to use her time as she pleases. We hope she enjoys her day and more than anything we hope she feels our desire to celebrate her in every way we can (accept for a party!).

Sunday we will all gather at the Spruces for dinner and a presentation, a celebration of the wife/mom/grandma who means the world to us.

Happy Birthday mom! We love you so much!

Thinking of Friendship Today...

some wonderful friends from Texas, who came to me on my birthday as I watched my belongings be packed for our move here to the Spruces.


A very long time ago, my dad shared with me a gem of eternal truth. I wish I could remember the circumstances which surrounded our conversation, but the clear view of his kind face speaking to me these words will forever be with me,

"Katie, the things that you have in this life will be nice. But they won't matter as much as the people you come to love. Our things are so fleeting, so temporary. But relationships? They matter. They last through the eternities. They are the gifts we bring with us into eternity."

I've thought a lot about friendship today. Perhaps it is that my friends Susie and Jenna stayed with us for the weekend. I'm sure it is in part because my children are working through the newness of friendships in this new place, and also re-visiting friendships they left behind when we lived near here before. I've felt a deep sadness for the friendships I've left in our old home in Texas, and a gratitude for the comforting thoughts that friendships parted with love will remain friendships forever more.

And in all my thoughts on friendship the one my dad shared is the one that comes back. That friends are the treasures of this life, and that friendships knit in unity and love are gifts that can last forever.

Fridays Fly in Utah

Downside to Utah's educational system? Huge class size, curriculum that does not adequately challenge, funds that must stretch too far...

Upside? EARLY RELEASE EVERY FRIDAY. When I was a kid it was called "half day Friday".
I love half day Friday.
The day flies by.
My kids are around me.
It is finally the weekend.
They play with friends which means a loud and full house.
Cousins and their parents drop by to say Hi.


Hope you enjoy a lovely weekend. See you here on Monday.

Yesterday's lunch

Molly cracked the eggs.
Lucy spread the butter.
I cut the most delicious peach we have ever tasted (thank you Kelly for sharing this most lucious treat with our family).
At last minute Molly chose peanut butter and celery for our vegatable; I had forgotten how well peanut butter goes with celery.

We sat together at our table. We spoke of being home "alone" while the kids were away at school. Lucy didn't eat the eggs. We cleaned the dishes together.

It was the best 30 minutes of my week so far

For our Love of...

I abandonded John in the middle of unpacking boxes and took my Madi and my sisters down to the Happy Valley to support a lovely person we had never met, though we all felt we knew her very well. Stephanie recognized me as we approached the trail head, she called to me by name and I felt deeply moved that through the past year of pain and suffering and sorrow she would remember the face of a person who she has never spoken with accept through emails and blog posts. I want to be just like her in so very many ways.
Mrs. Nie is seen here after taking in the absolutely breathtaking view of Utah Valley from high atop the mountain which is home to the big white Y
This is our little hiking party; Jessa, Jenny, Madi and Me. We happened upon my dear friend Blue who had decided to support Nie and had come sans hiking buddies. We happily adopted her and visited all the way up and down the trail...
Jessa, Jenny and I enjoyed a text from sister Mandy, who could not join us but wished she could. Sisters in law were also warmly thought of. As we hiked we talked about the ways we've rallied together in our own burning tragedies. We've not had the drama or the danger of a plane crash, but other dissapointments and challenges have had to be bravely met, and we've been there for each other in those times. That is the way with families, right?
Here we are at the summit, with the Nielson family behind us and all around, cheering for their sister, fallen from the sky in flames and now rising again, like a pheonix; made stronger and more beautiful for the burning.

A year to learn how to Remember

We have adopted a "family theme" at the beginning of the school year off and on. It was a wonderful part of our year last year, so I encouraged us to continue.
John and I have observed that our we can benefit greatly from remembering many things: remembering the Lord's tender mercies in our lives, remembering our family and what it means to us, remembering the experiences we've had that have built testimony and brought miracles, remembering the words of the prophets, and most centrally; remembering our Savior Jesus Christ.
The daily act of remembering will be recorded in our new family journal, and the journal will be kept at the table. When a child is assigned to his/her dinner night they will also take a moment and record something to be remembered. Our Family Home Evenings will be sometimes centered around this idea of remembering, and we will daily work to remember in our prayers, with each other and in our personal lives.

I hope as the year unfolds, as our children remember facts, spelling words, the periodic table and other worthy things that they will also learn to remember the Savior and that He loves them, and in the practice of these things they'll come closer to Him and feel His love more abundantly in his life.

Here is to a school year full of remembering