Today I took a minute to look through Brynley's latest web obsession; instagram. I saw friends there, beautiful images of their homes, their children, their vacations. It was nice to see their smiles, the beautifully 'altered' photos and the quick captions that express the joy of their living. For an instant I felt jealousy; that 'they have it so together' kind of feeling. And I felt a little lonely; I had just come in to a darkened house on a Friday night with no one to make dinner but me and no one who wanted to hang out but Lucy who really just wanted the IPad password (Friday is 'screen day' after all).
I've turned to my blog dozens of times over the last 6 months, wanting to write, to express, to document my life and all that is passing before me and through me. Blogger changed the format; it takes eons of time to download photos to share in this space. My kids are so busy I rarely give myself time to sit down and write or read anything, let alone send my thoughts out into the atmosphere. The words are coming so fast, by the time I sit to write them new thoughts are forming.
Life is speeding up. I don't know how to speed up myself.
I picked up the mail after putting down instagram. In the pile was a note from a friend. We had helped her in some small way and a thank you was was stamped and waiting. She said we had been an answer to prayer, and a strength to her faith. Not that we had known that. We just listened to an opportunity and felt glad there was something we could do.
I was humbled we had been able to help. To have been a part of 'making a difference'. I wonder how many times I could be the answer to someone's prayer if I would just stop and listen inside and do what I feel I might do.
So, I stop now to write. The dinner can wait, and I cannot wait to express to my children (for whom this blog is written) that it is best to hear and heed. The impressions are so faint-like a whisper on a windy day. It takes effort to hear and faith to believe the message that is softly spoken. And what an important reminder for me to listen and act more often.
My instagram friends are leading beautiful lives; not just pretty to look at but lives of substance. But today I'm so grateful for the opportunity to act quietly, with no photos or hashtags or altering of images. Just a chance to do what is right, and the reminder that my life is blessed and I'm never ever alone.
