big and small. Busy and lazy. Happy and surly. All these are part of my mothering right now.
This morning John had to head to work early. Mason missed his ride to school and I missed saying goodbye to Bryn as she caught her ride while I was bus driving Mason. The next two to leave pranced out of the house without lunches; again. They will instead choose from the multiple fattening offerings in the school's cafeteria. Molly's lunch wasn't made when her ride pulled in the driveway; I'll have to deliver it to her carpool mom before her lunch hour arrives.
As things change and children grow I don't know how to match my philosophy to their schedules. It is a quandary that challenges my confidence and makes me wonder where my mothering needs to go now.
I know the answers can come to me if I will stop think and pray. But I kind of lament this moment of my life, when my confidence is challenged and my skills stretched and my weaknesses raw and public.
Mothering isn't about scheduling and it isn't about cleaning or organizing. Mothering is about nurturing; about leading children into adulthood with security, faith and independence. If I work on those three things and leave the extras aside a new routine can emerge. A feeling of confidence, even if not of control, can return. I can feel that my work is worth it.
Off to the thinking and praying I guess.
2 comments:
The only way I can figure out how to mother my children rather than play traffic cop/chauffer/taxi-driver/agent is to homeschool. NOT School-At-Home, but something entirely different (see "A Thomas Jefferson Education" and "Celestial Education") I am not currently homeschooling, but feel strongly that with our culture, this is the only way to change course and truly teach and mother my children the way God intends. Otherwise life is completely eaten up by school, homework and activities- and before we know it, they're gone. Do we really just have to give in and make the best of it? Grin and bear it? And pretend like this is really our role in life? And theirs?
I'm about to take the leap and bring my children home while I still can. This is my answer after much study, thought and prayer.
I wish you the best finding yours.
the little mice from cinderella are in my head, singing, "you can do it, you can do it" (random, yes)
loved the caption description of happy and surly -- maybe that's why I have Disney characters in my head?
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