Lucy marked the beginning of her full day school career, beginning first grade the same day Mason began 12th.
I thought I'd be so choked up about Lucy leaving the nest all day long. It is the first time in 17 years that a small person is not my companion for at least half of the school day...and it is a bit lonely I will admit.
But on that first day of school I felt more excitement for Lucy than I did pity for me. I had so many errands to run, so much to do to begin to 'catch up' from all of our summer adventures, that I was glad Lucy would have a good and happy place to be; with activities and exploration, reading and writing, friends and recess. It was so right for her to step into this part of her life, I felt joy for her instead of sorrow for myself.
But, completely by surprise, when Mason rushed out the door to drive away for his first class, I followed him out with the camera in urgency. I snapped a picture of him behind the wheel with his 'hurry up mom' face on...and then he drove away.
And I broke down and sobbed.
Next time he drives away for a first day it will be hours to the classroom, with roommates instead of siblings to get along with at home. And home won't be in our new house, nor will it be here at the Spruces, it will be in a dorm room on a college campus without me.
12 months and he leaves.
Now, mind you, we are ALL looking forward to his college career. It has become widely apparent that its time for Mason to learn and grow in different ways. Though still a vital part of his upbringing, as parents we lost our 'voice' with him a little while back, and the constant reminders of those things we are trying to teach him before he flies the coop have become a broken record-a string of sound-that Mason sends in one ear and out the other. It is frightening the desperation I feel as a mother to be sure that certain life skills are second nature. We are not talking about teeth brushing and laundry folding. We are talking about personal responsibility and duty to the society at large. These are the big ones; do the homework when it is assigned instead of waiting until it is due, remember to say thank you and take responsibility for your own actions instead of blaming outcomes on others, be KIND to others and seek to help because it is the right thing to do not because you will get a pat on the back.
And I'm not sure they are really learned...so there is panic and urgency in all that I do.
But I can see that what I do just isn't as impactful any more. He is in the realm of the hard knox of learning for himself to implement what we have taught.
First day of school photo; traditionally taken on the front porch.
They are all ready to get back to school
The 'big 3' leave earlier than the rest, Madi LOVES when mom asks her to smile :)
the 'hurry up mom I'm late' look is classic from Mason. He is off to his Senior Year at Olympus High School
The 'little 3' still walk to school, just down the street from the Spruces. This year Porter is the mother hen, he is responsible for making sure his sisters arrive safely to and from school each day.
And for that reason I'm glad we have this last year to help him by listening when he comes to us to talk. To be there to cheer on the successes of personal responsibility and to watch as if on the sidelines when he falls and has to pick himself up again. But at least I'm still on the sideline, and not far away in the bleachers somewhere. At least I can cheer lead and back-pat and coach a little bit one on one, face to face. I've become hyper aware that not long from now I will be texting my encouragement long distance instead down the street. Phone calls and facetime will be the extent of my influence, at least for now I have real time and late nights and dinner hours to try to influence and encourage. At least I have this senior year. 12 more months with Mason.
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