Reflection

We have a daily visitor that is somewhat of an alarm clock in our home. He’s been coming to our window for over a month now, and never misses a day. His routine involves pecking away at the windowpane which is directly across from our kids’ rooms. His peck peck peck wakes Lucy and me, and as I lie in my bed and think of facing the day I am amazed by the behavior of this bird and ponder on his purpose.

At first we thought the guy was looking for food. We had seen that the blinds, which cover the window, have a beading on the bottom which to him may have looked like breakfast. But then we uncovered the window, clearing the blinds away and still the bird came back. As I observed him morning after morning, I could finally see what draws him to the window to attack each day.

He is afraid of his own reflection.

The window had been tinted, so the outside appears mirror-like. Apparently the bird has made his nest nearby, and out of fear for an enemy he pecks away at the bird he sees, but the bird he sees is none other than himself. I’m sure to Mr. feathers the reflection is terrifying; a foe who is capable, resilient and strong. A formidable enemy, who could threaten his comfortable way of life, even change the dynamics of his family structure. Something to be feared and fought. Our fear-filled feathery alarm clock exhausts him self each day in the pursuit of victory over the version of himself he sees in our mirrored window.

I wonder how many of us spend our life times fighting the reflection in us. I have a quote that is usually framed on my wall by C.S. Lewis. In his statement he puts forth that we, if we truly could see our divine potential, would be strongly tempted to worship our own reflections. He isn’t stating that we’d become vain; he is showing us the view that our spiritual potential reaches that of divinity. And that if we could see who we really are, our divine qualities would merit admiration and wonder.

But that thought is terrifying isn’t it? If we have the potential within us to have divine natures, that would mean that we would need to act with divine attributes. Attributes like charity, forgiveness, compassion and for me a sense of humor. We’d have to stand up for what’s right and in doing so often we’d have to stand alone. Sometimes we’d have to walk away from situations that seem enticing but wouldn’t become one who is striving for greatness. How frightening to accept such responsibility. How tempting to pretend that the real attributes demanded by our natures are antiquated, naive and ineffective in the sophisticated clamor of our lives.

Perhaps for most of us, when we catch glimpses of who we really are, instead of pursuing our qualities to that end we turn away, or even fight, the glory that lies within us. Pecking away at ourselves we allow all kinds of self talk and low living to taint our reflection until it is dim enough that we don’t see who we really are any more.

But it doesn’t change the reflection- down deep those worthy possibilities are still within us. We just peck away at the reflection day after day, dimming its brightness and exhausting ourselves by fighting the true nature within.

So tomorrow morning when I hear the peck peck peck of a sorry little animal who fights his own reflection I will try hard not to peck peck peck away at myself. Instead perhaps I’ll look down deep for the person I really am, and I’ll try a little harder to live like that person should live and become what that person should become.