School of Life

I've tried hard to take advantage of all of the home-schooling and fit in some "school of life" experiences for the kids on regular school days. We've taken a trip to Lesedi, the "living museum" of South African tribal culture and we've gone to the tourist shops to find native costumes for Halloween. But this has by far been my favorite day of home school.

After a quick morning math lesson I loaded up the three oldest and we, along with our friend Charnel De Kock and our protector and navigator Trust, headed to down town Joburg to spend some time with the toddlers at the Salvation Army orphanage. We shared some "play time" and then helped them eat lunch, feeding the littlest of the bunch-who had to wait their turn to eat for lack of enough spoons-and after that it was off to nap time for them and back to a life of security and relative ease for us.

I found it particularly ironic that after feeding these little ones a meager meal of pup(basically grits) and gravy, with a few bites of meat we ended up having a fine meal at a Chinese restaurant in one of the classiest malls in Johannesburg (I had to run an errand there, so we stopped on the way home). I wondered if the food tasted finer to the kids as they'd just seen the simple morsels fed to our little friends. As we sat around the restaurant table I asked the kids their feelings concerning the little ones we'd played with. I was pleased with their responses. Each of them had a different perspective on the hours they'd spent at the orphanage; Mason had enjoyed holding the kids and had felt "looked up to" by them, Madi got a kick out of the games they played with her, Bryn had wished to go hold the little babies again. All asked to go back, even though they'd left with the wet of the babies' leaking diapers on their clothes and the snot of runny noses on their shirts (these are orphans, snot happens..). I myself felt a great desire to go back with my children again and again. They had been at their finest, and I had been witness to their compassion and unconditional love for mankind.

I was also surprised at the reaction we received from our friend Trust, who had never gone into an orphanage before. He had been the absolute hit of the morning; you can imagine how unique it would be for these chidlren to see a black man in their midst. Each child approached him, calling him "daddy" and raising their arms to feel his embrace. a couple of the boys clung to him and screamed in sadness when he stole out of the room. He had said he must check that the car was safe, but next morning he had admitted that the experience was overwhelming, and his dreams had been interrupted by the faces of those little ones during his restless night's sleep.

My thoughts, of course, turned to Lucy and Molly. I could see in these toddlers "what could have been" for my dear little ones, and my heart ached to have the faces that looked to me for a hug and a smile know the comfort of parents who love eternally and siblings who care beyond blood or race. I tell you if I even had the slightest nudge from Heaven that it was to be for us again, I'd go through all the pains of waiting and hoping to bring another soul into our Graham craziness. One less heartache sitting in the playroom at the orphanage, one less mouth waiting for a bite of pup. I look for a sign in their faces, a blessing from Heaven that one of them is meant to be a Graham. How strange to be willing to go through it again, as adoption has been twice for me an experience of heartache and personal distress. But if one of these lives is meant to be led in my home instead of within the walls of an orphanage, how could I not go through it again? What happiness is there if I've left one behind? When will I know if all that are meant to be ours are truly safe at home, with us? Heaven only knows, and perhaps in my pleading I'll someday soon be let in the sacred secret....

I don't really have a good conclusion to these thoughts, and perhaps that is a good thing. Perhaps thoughts of little ones who lack the love of family isn't a thought that should conclude; but a reality that should be ever present in our daily lives. I hope in these thoughts that our school of life days are filled with these little children and that through their need for love we truly will have been schooled in the meaning and deepest purpose of life.