Wednesday, January 20, 2010

As Sunny as the Sky, as Gray as the Clouds


proof that winter can mean blue skies, like a halo, right above the Spruces


Yesterday began with clouds and slush. An unexpected drizzle followed by a flurry of snow. My mood matched the weather; stormy. A sick child's needs upsetting the intricately laid plans which would run me here to there in the pursuit of fitness and in the name of supporting public education.

I was brooding and very distraught. John worried over my mental health.

As I drove back from dropping the little girls at preschool the trechory of the roads gave way to spring like thaw. The skies became blue. The temperature reflecting the sun that so brightly reared its cheerful head on my inversion riddled temperment.

I set to work in the house, my sick one sleeping peacefully. Working quickly and checking things off the list, my spirit began to feel the warmth of the outside sun. I stopped to pray. I pondered. I begged for the sunshine to last within me.

It did, for a short while through the day...

Then the clouds returned. I remembered what didn't happen instead of what did.
John returned home to the same stormy wife he'd left that morning. Poor, poor John.

The fickle nature of the winter sun can sometimes mirror my own emotions. I long for sunnier days on the inside, regardless of the outside slush.

It will come, with longer prayers and more realistic ideas about how much one person who rears 6 can accomplish in a single day...

for now, I wish for inner spring.

1 comment:

Tami said...

You are such a talented writer. So fun to read your posts. I understand how you feel with the weather matching your mood. I am such a sunshine girl. I run with the sun, I thrive with the sun. That could be a great play on words, as I know that I thrive because of the Son. :-)