Lucy's ballet and the month of May

Lucy was Lovely today

Lucy performed this morning in a sweet ballet recital. Much time and effort had been given for her to have an 'authentic' ballet experience, with lights, proper use of ballet terms, a beautiful costume and a lovely ballet teacher. Because of the odd time of day (9:30 a.m.) I was the only 'Lucy Fan' in attendance. I was to record the entire recital for the family to watch. I remembered the camera, and had even put it in the car on my first trip out this morning to drive the kindergarten carpool.

but I forgot the extra battery.

Very little of Lucy's grace and beauty were captured for posterity.
I shed a tear and texted John:

'May stinks so bad...'

you see, last night was Molly's kindergarten program. We used the battery (and the memory card) to film her (and we were SO PROUD, she was awesome!). Because the program ended after bedtime, we rushed home and went through the bedtime routine-and because it was Mason's birthday, we added a cake cutting and tasting to that routine. And because it was Mason's birthday and I wanted to be 'all that' to Mason, I had taken the time to bring popsicles to Rugby practice and had NOT taken the time to make sure Molly had done her nightly reading for school. So while I cleaned up (partially at that) the birthday cake and dinner dishes (which had gone undone so we could get to the program on time) John had done the painstaking nightly reading duty. And then there was the ballet costume to assemble (where were the ballet shoes?!) before I could sleep. Instead of my morning work out I did a load of laundry and a load of dishes, and I was stern with the kids to get their morning chores done before they skipped off to school and.....

you see what May is like?

I've been involved in a weekly 'boot camp' of sorts to get ready for triathlon season. As part of my training I've been swimming, in a group, with a coach. Sometimes the coach yells that we should only breath every 9 strokes as part of a training drill. With the group in the water in front and behind and to the side of me, I often come up on the 9th stroke, completely gasping for air, only to get a gulp of someone else's wake. That is what May is like.

Lucy was a beautiful dancer today. And she will have recitals in her future which will include flowers from her father and kisses from brothers, sisters, grandparents et al. And this May, like the others, will pass. But mornings like this one leave me truly pondering if its worth all the gasping and groping for air in order to make it to all that we've opened up for our children to do. Some times I think we might be happier than we think if there were fewer recitals and more time for nightly reading. Less gasping for air and more growing in the garden.

Until I know what to do I'll gasp my way through May. But sometimes I think if I'd stop and breath I'd hear a whisper telling me that our family can slow down and still be happy. We could do less and enjoy more. We can be simple and still sophisticated and educated. Calm and Creative. More able to breath together....