To My Moms on Friday

 

Dear Moms,
Today I'm thinking of you collectively-the two of you who make up my children's grandmothers. It is on the subject of your grandmothering that I'd like to praise you in honor of Mother's Day this week...

Both of you have a grandaughter or two who do not share your DNA. Since those daughters are my daughters, I have had the chance to meet several other grandmothers whose grandkids don't have "their blood"

Not all grandmothers are created equal, I must say. Some whose children's children are adopted have a hard time with the whole concept. Most not, but I have spoken with a few who separate their "natural grandkids" from their adopted ones.

And that hurts

Today I want to thank you and tell you I admire, revere and love you for not being that kind of grandmother. You have, instead, been quite the opposite (both of you). ALL of your grandkids mean the world to you-and I'm not sure that, aside from the miracle of watching Ms. Molly and Ms. Lucy become Grahams in their own right, you distinguish in any way the modus apparandi for their entry into our home. You see them as ours, because they are in every sense ours. I don't in any way say that to diminish the wonderful birthmothers who chose to follow the road that led these precious souls into our home. I say it because you understnand and reverence that once these daughters entered the temple with our family they became GRAHAMS forever. As if they were born under the covenants of the marriage you blessed so many years ago between your son and your daughter. I love you because you recognize this fact, you know it to be true, and you rejoice in its truth along with our family.

And all the hugs and kisses and birthday wishes and phone conversations and letters in the mail that come to these grandaughters witness of your testimonies concerning this truth. I love you for knowing these things; for teaching them to your children and for witnessing them-and therefor teaching them-to your grandchildren. Thank you ever more for loving all your grandchildren the same...
Just wanted you to know.
love,
Me