Molly poses in her program costume, just before ringing in the season with Christmas song and dance"mom, we did absolutely NO learning today and it was AWESOME!". I guess sometimes our public education system can serve as full time babysitter while I shop 'til I drop for Christmas trimmings...
Sugar and festive-ness gave way to poor judgment today on the part of one of our children. First, Molly (after party hopping from classroom to classroom at her siblings' elementary school) decided it was time to go home. I walked us into the bathroom so I could be relieved and prepared for the short trek home (shouldn't adults be allowed the dignity of non-child sized bathrooms in the elementary school? seriously my whole head can be seen from the top of the stall when I am SITTING in it. Ugh). In mid bathroom run, Molly left. I figured she had helped herself to more treats in an unknown classroom, and that I'd catch her quickly upon exiting the lou.
She was not in the hallway. She was not in Porter's room. She was not with Madi nor with Bryn. I wondered where she had gone. Then I felt a little voice say 'she has walked herself home.' Thinking this a possibility (her confidence is her weakness, and her inability to realize that others are affected by the choices she makes). I informed the school secretary that I was missing a child but felt she may have walked home. The secretary was aghast at my calm nature as she offered to put the school on lock down and search every classroom. I asked instead that if my child turned up she be led to the principal's office and sternly repramanded. Darling Ms. Barb, the school secretary, took down my cel phone number and assured me she'd be on the alert. I place Lucy in our stroller and started to hike up the hill. As I trudged I prayed. I was grateful I felt calm. I was pleading for my little one's safety. I was begging for help to rear her well. My neighbor pulled up in her car mid prayer. I told her I was searching for a missing small person. She offered to go driving the neighborhood to see what she could see. I told her I felt calm. She understood.
I entered the house, I did not see her there. I called her name and instantly heard "yes mom!" and the pitter patter of her feet. She indeed, had walked home, and upon arrival took food from the cupboard and began eating an early lunch in a room where food is not welcome. I expressed (more patiently than I thought I would be able) that many people were worried because of her choice to leave without me. I shared my disappointmemnt. I assured her she was special, and that our worry was out of love. I tried to let her know when she makes a choice that the consequences matter to other people too. She smiled a shy smile.
Then I took her to the neighbor. She rang the bell and said she was sorry that she had caused her worry. Our wonderful neighbor wrapped Molly in her arms and said "I'm just so glad you are safe. You are so important." While Molly was thus occupied I called the school secretary. Would she play an important role? When Molly arrives to apologize, would she explain the value of her keeping by my side when next she comes to the school? A wise secretary indeed, she agreed to be part of the lesson.
We pulled up to the school. I escorted Molly in. She rested her chin on the office counter and squarely faced the secretary. "I'm sorry Ms. Barb" she shyly expressed. Ms. Barb came right to Molly-she met her eyes and spoke softly of the importance of staying safe and being helpful when at school. Would Molly please stay with mom, whenever Molly comes back to the school? Molly agreed she would.
Then there was more hugging, and we left the school much lighter.
How will I raise this daughter? This spirit that needs so much? I adore this little child. And I sometimes fear that I'm not enough for her. But in those moments, like the ones I had today when the whisper assured me she was walking home I have the strongest feeling that I am not alone in the endeavor to rear this soul.
Not only does Molly have a desperately interested and loving Daddy, and siblings who love and care too. She also has a Heavenly Father, who is keenly aware of her needs and who rescued her from dire straights and placed her in our arms. To keep her safe. To teach her well. To turn to Him when we need help to know better.
No, I am not enough alone. But with the help of all those around me, and the interest of heaven as well, I believe we can be made enough to help her walk back to the one home, that heavenly home, where she will be safe for ever after.
6 comments:
I will be here whenever I am needed for that special child as well. She has an extra special place in my heart. I can see light in her eyes. Love you Molly Graham!!!!
You brought tears to my eyes. What a blessing the Spirit is and what a blessing that you are in tune with that Spirit. She is so blessed to have you as her mother. I can't believe how calm you were. I am so grateful that you found her home and safe.
This may be my favorite of your posts ever. Beautifully shared. Thanks.
First off, you are a nice mother. Can't say I would have reacted the same. Second, when we were kids it was safe to walk home, of course, as long as we told our parents. She is lucky to have you!
Glad Molly was home safe! And to spare you the indignity of short bathroom stalls next time, you need toknow there's a real bathroom in the sick room with a full door!
I lost 2 of my kids when they were 3 and 5 because they went to a wrong neighbors house. I have never been so scared in my life. I'm so glad she was safe and that it became a great teaching moment.
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