Life in the Fast lane...

Lucy has learnrned well how to nap in the car. As uncomfortable as it looks, she can sleep in this position for literally hours while I drive kids from one end of the valley to another some afternoons

my pen and pencil stash in the family car; from this stockpile the kids have utensils for doing homework in the car as we drive from swim to rugby and back to the Spruces again.

Life has sped up at the Spruces. This week, along with birthdays, we have seen the beginning of Rugby season and the start of the soccer season as well. My afternoons are now most often spent-big chunks of them anyway-in the car. I've lost completely, on some nights, my time in the kitchen with our kids. Homework time is often spent in the car, with me having younger kids holler their spelling words or reading books at me while I navigate from the front seat.

It has caused me to ponder if all the running around is worth it.

John and I have wanted so much for our kids to be able to have 'experiences' which will help them become whole and happy human beings. Not just hollow souls-but we've wanted for them to have chances to try things, to see what they are on the inside, and to see what they can do with determination and hard work. We are determined that they become whole through service as well, and so some of our hours spent outside of home are filled with service-and we want to pattern for our kids that part of being a productive human being is being part of something bigger than ourselves, so we require the kids to support each other, and to support us while we serve in our church and community.

But there are trade-offs. Homework done in the car instead of by the hearth. dinners made more out of a box at times and less out of the garden. It means mom isn't home; which means that things at home don't run as smoothly. More fighting between kids who stay while I go. Less tidy and more mess. Its a hard trade-off for me.

Last night John asked me what my expectations were concerning time and home. We chatted while we feel asleep, the exhaustion of the race we are running causing us both fatigue. We know its a trade off to have the kids go and do. We aren't sure the answers we have right now are the best ones. The easiest and least expensive solution is to call off all the lessons and teams. To quit in the name of "time at home". It is an option we are pondering, but we don't think its the exact right answer. We aren't sure there is one.

I think with time and thought and prayer we'll find peace in the chaos, or find peace in calling it all off. For now our choice is to try to stay connected as a family through morning and evening prayer, weekly time together on Monday nights, and supporting each other by cheering and clapping as each one performs elsewhere. We are trying to stay connected as a couple with love notes, dates (shorter and farther between than they used to be) and trying to cheer each other on too-there are few things in this world I can't do if I know John is on the sideline, telling me I can do them.

So we'll see how this busy season helps us grow and helps us learn. When early summer comes and its time to kick back, when all the teams and recitals have finished their busy seasons, we'll evaluate how things went and decide how we want them to go in the future.

For now we will just learn to smile through rush hour carpools and late night practices. And try to be cheerful as we help our children grow.