counting down

So, we are 5 days and counting until our family is whole again (plus one; so happy to have you J!). In the last two and a half weeks we have: listed our house for sale, celebrated a birthday, sold our home, packed for Africa, taken tennis lessons, taken art lessons (lots of them!), arranged for movers to pack our home, placed Cooper the Cocker in a foster home, and now we will vacate our corner of Holladay Utah and take off for JoBerg South Africa. So much in so little time has left me tired, wired and overwhelmed with so many emotions. Gratitude, nostalgia, a longing for a settled life, the feelings of eagerness for an adventure, the feelings of incomplete-ness that come when John and I are apart, and the deep desire to see the end from these beginnings. Whenever I think I cannot do it another day I remember the feeling I had when John first said "South Africa" and I hold on knowing that this is the right place for our family at this time. Why? Who knows. I'd love it to be something grand; some fortuitous miracle about to unfold through our sojourning in S.Africa. But I believe it is grand enough to know that the God of this earth is mindful of little tiny insignificant me, that He has gifts He desires to give me through experiences like seeing the support of friends and family in challenging circumstances, new places and people to experience and enjoy, children who are pliable and wonder-filled, and a knowledge that my life is made more whole, more complete and more wonderful because John Graham is my partner in it. Those lessons are gifts in themselves, and I feel deeply thankful for them. My mind is too tired to express properly the gratitude I've felt for friends and family these last two weeks. My heart is bursting with both love for my husband and a longing to be "home" and settled somewhere, with him. My mood is quickly shifting from excitement for the adventure and a longing to stay and be still. But over it all I feel ever humbled at a sure knowledge that we are all watched over and carefully allowed experiences which help us see the wonder of this life and all it is meant to teach and offer us.