Trying to look ahead...

I've fallen into a bit of disrepair this year. Especially since about June. Scripture study is all but not happening for me. I haven't exercised regularly since we ran Ragnar. My eating habits aren't habits at all, but instead they are indulgences seasoned with a peppering of guilt. I'm looking back over my shoulder a lot; re-visiting old experiences, remembering nostalgically the adventures of past years. Not wanting to forge ahead into the blessed possibilities of tomorrow, I'm sad for having lost something of what I was; the me who cared about me enough to take care of soul and body.

I must admit, I look in the mirror and I don't like what I see. And though I'm certainly not happy with the outward appearance (no muscle! so much soft goo hanging around my middle! uneven skin tones and wrinkle, oh my!) I also am not liking me on the inside very much. I feel brittle. I feel lonely. I feel I have little to give.

That is not the me I want to be any more.

A couple of days ago a friend sent a quote :

"Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor each morning the

devil says~~
"Oh Crap, She's up!"

So, its time to become that me. Sugar, farewell. Cookies and candy, I must bid you goodbye. No more sleeping in, but exercise must happen instead. Prayers (the personal kind) morning and night-and on my knees instead of sitting up in my bed ;) Scriptures are now placed in the car, in my handbag and by my bed so I can indulge in "feasting upon the word" each day for 15 minutes. And-the change that almost needs to happen more than any other-I will do as Camilla Kimball has suggested:

"Never supress a generous thought."

Its time to think about others. The others I live with and the others around me.

wish me the best of luck. And a prayer would be nice as well.