Thursday, September 06, 2007

A Trouble Spot


I can't wait to absolutely lavish about our friend and driver Trust Shoko. He is an outstanding individual and has played a vital role in our comfort here in South AFrica. Just today I laid out some directions to a shop I wanted to visit. I had absolutley no clue if this shop was in a safe area and the directions made absolutely no sense to me, but Trust assured us he knew just where it was and took us straight to it. He is just absolutely top notch, absolutely

There is a trouble spot in our situation with Trust that I cannot reconcile at this point and I just don't know what to do about it. See, Trust takes us everywhere we go, even to places like McDonald's and the grocery store. And Trust lives to serve, seriously, so when we do go into the grocery store he insists on being helpful. Which means that he pushes the grocery cart. Trust is from Botswana, and he is a handsome black man. There is something so irreconsialable for me to have a black man pushing my grocery cart. It feels so pre-civil rights to me, so wrong for me to allow someone who I feel is my equal to do my "grunt" stuff. Trust doesn't see it this way, he actually insists that it is part of his job, and he wouldn't want others to see him "slacking" if he didn't push the cart. So I let him push. Even though deep down inside I'm thinking "Friend, you don't have to do this for me, I got it buddy!" I just don't know how to jump this cultural divide. It is hard enough that our dear friend Evie washes our clothes and mops all the floors. She is Xhosa, which means she is also black. She has worked in this home for over a decade, and she runs this house like clockwork (sheets changed on mondays, windows washed on fridays, floors mopped thursdays, laundry done every day...). Having a black woman mop my floor as I read a book to my daughter is another one of these trouble spots. Just don't quite know how to handle all of this. Throw in apartheid,and the fact that it was abolished and I kind of feel like I'm feeding the dead laws of segregation instead of liberating the captive and bringing fairness and equality to all.

It is a definate trouble spot in my African experience. I would for sure feel more comfortable if Evie and Trust were white and scrubbing my floors or pushing the groceries. Is that weird? wonder how I'll come to terms with this funny cultural cunundrum, for now I just feel I'm part of the trouble spots of post apartheid South Africa.

5 comments:

Jenny and Josh said...

Katie,
I can see where you are coming from. They sound like such amazing people, so giving, kind, and hard working. Please let them know how grateful we all are for their service to you. It puts me at ease to know you have the protection of such a good man when you go out and about. And to know that Miss Evie will be there to help you so you can home school your kids. I have never met them, and probably never will, but I send a big hug to both of them!

amanda jane said...

I think it's great that you get to be a prt of their lives, even if it is for a short time. Treating them with the great respect I know you do can only be blessing. Just keep loving them and sharing what goodness and equality are in an employer, along with your friendship. There can olny be blessing if you are mindful and prayerful! Love you and good heart!

Tamie said...

I agree with the other two. I think that showing them the utmost respect and TREATING them as an equal will speak volumes more, considering that they deem it their duty to serve you and your family. The basics in politness go into play here i think.
glad that you all arean't on your deathbeds any more. yuck!
ok, since i don't know you that well...at all. i am wondering what profession your husband is that takes you all over the world. perhaps i'm being a little nosy, so ignore my question if you feel that i am, but i am literally facsinated by you and your life in S.Africa right now. what an experience!!!

John said...

I work in management consulting. The company I work for has offices all over the world. That's why we used to live in Stockholm as well. We don't have an office in Joburg, but we sold a project here out of Mumbai, so my team is a smattering of folks from Mumbai, Munich and some local partners.

Gayle said...

Dear Grahams, I know you are and do show the respect that each of Heavenly Father's children deserves no matter what color skin we wear or what language we speak. Respect for each individual is paramont and I know you all try to live this way. Evie and Trust sound like great people to be around and to rely on. The most important part of their jobs is that they be allowed to do their jobs as expertly as they desire to do them. It is Evie's responsibility to take care of this home that has been entrusted to her by it's owner. And Trust to protect you all and take you where you wish at the same time interfacing with the situtations he is aware of in his country/city. To allow these good peop;le to do thier very best is important. To respect them and acknowledge thier efforts is the LEAST you can do for them. To make their tasks easier is important too. So kids, do not leave your things laying around, pick up after your selves and take care of the lovely things that rare your responsibilitieis sto Evie does not have to do more that she should have to and so you show her that your do respect her and are willing to follow her example in order and cleanliness and pride in your work. Important lessons for all of us to learn and follow. I love you all and I am so grateful you have these experiences. Thank goodness for blogging and the miricles of communication we have in our lives...I would be a basket case if we could not communicate. I pray that you are getting my comments. You do not seem to be getting my e-mails at all. So these comments are long, I know. But I am so happy to see your faces and hear what you have been doing. I am concerned about your schooling. Hs this limited internet prevented Mason from his studies with BYU? And all the other things you had planned to rely on the internet for? I hope not, that you have found a way around this glitch. If any one can, you all can! Love you MOM_ GRANDMA NOODLE