The grill ran out of gas last night just as I was attempting to feed the hungry masses. A phone call to my John with the following sharp question followed:
"hi have you filled up the gas for the grill lately?"
"I know it is almost on empty, has it run out?" he calmly asked
"apparently so. I thought you just filled it up..." I respond in cool tones
"no. We discussed that just before our friends came for dinner, but we didn't fill it up. It must be on empty." He again spoke very calmly.
"Dang it. I need to feed the kids so they'll have baths and a proper bedtime for once this week. We are all falling apart because I don't get to put them to bed at night like they need me to. They don't have much of you, and I haven't given them enough of me this week..." and on I went
"how can I help. Would you like to eat a little later so I can come get the tank and fill it up?"
"no, they are all hungry now, and they won't last your commute..." sounding a little bratty.
The dominoes had fallen with the empty gas tank. You know the ones; they are the very precariously placed events and doings of our every days, and when one of them teeters the whole bunch of them fall. I'd been feeling like the mess was inevitable and with the empty grill my hunch was confirmed.
John, who is not responsible for keeping gas in the grill, taught me without raising his voice how I could alternately cook our meat without causing too much mess (the mess part was the reason I was grilling, I didn't want a dirty oven or dirty pots or pans, I wanted order and the chance to kiss freshly bathed children as I cuddled with them in their beds, free from the rush of knowing that my goodnight kisses needed to be hurried because of the lateness of the hour). He came home, while on a conference call, and took the tank off the grill. He drove the tank, while on a conference call, to someplace where tanks can be made full of grilling gas. Then he brought the tank back to the grill and put it back in its proper place, ready for me to use next time.
That is how John works. He is calm. He listens without getting freaked out by my emotion. He steadies me when no gas in the grill seems to weigh about as much as a failing economy or the tragedy of Hurricane Ike or the war in Iraq. He has perspective. And He Has Me.
and he wraps me around his finger when he speaks to me calmly at times when I am not calm. He lets me sleep curled up in his arms when I think being curled up in a ball is about all I'm fit to be. And as I lay there and rest I am refreshed, and somehow as I sleep the dominoes stack up again for another try on another day.
Marriage is sacred. Marriage is work. Marriage is worth it. Especially if you're married to my John. Happy Friday.
6 comments:
you really are one LUCKY girl, Kate. I'm so glad you have him too. thanks for the chat - can't wait to talk again soon.
Thank you for this, I needed to hear this.
Aren't good husbands great? I cherish mine. Even when I'm being a brat, he still loves me.
Oh, what a sweet guy you have. I had heard he was a gem and now I know it's true.
I do the same thing to my Dan and he is really good at apologizing, even when it's not his fault.
Thank heaven for good husbands!
I found your blog from Nie's and have been back reading...you look very familiar and i wondered if I know you from church around me, but maybe you don't live in my part of texas....i love your story, how you talk about 2 children coming "from a different bus" is really cute. Thank you for sharing your perspective and links to talks:)
found you through nie... wanted to say hello. your writing is inspirational. i love this post. i also have a 'john'... only his name is joe. i can totally relate to this. :)
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