Years ago, in the middle of the muddle of adoption revelations that came over the course of years into my heart and mind, I was walking through a grocery store check out. At the register was a flyer, a photo of a beautiful little girl looking at the camera with almond eyes, dark little hair in tiny pig tales, and a face full of hope and perfection.
The little one caught my eye, and I felt a voice say to me "study her face, you have a daughter that looks like her..."
I turned away. These feelings had come before and I was doing my best to discern them. Were they spiritual? Were they human?
I turned back. I stared, and I purchased the flyer (donated to some good cause I'm sure). That flyer stayed with me until the day I flew with John and Mason to Vietnam to bring Lucy home.
Those feelings? They were spiritual. And they came again and again as a loving God taught me that my children were sweetly and lovingly to come into my care by more means than birth. I got the message, after lots of wrestling with the Lord, and Molly and Lucy followed...
Last Sunday Lucy looked up at me for one cute second in our terribley un-reverent sacrament meeting worship (front row of the folding chairs in the gym, could it be worse? I answer you NO. And with John on the stand shrugging his shoulders while Lucy and Molly attempted layups into the basketball standard I was at a loss for words, and patience for that matter!)
yep, Lucy and one cute second last sacrament meeting, and in that second I saw in her the little girl in the flyer. Her tiny pigtails, her hope-filled eyes, her beautiful skin. It was her-the little one the voice said belonged to me years and years ago.
Thanks, and praise to my sweet and loving Heavenly Father, for feelings and thoughts that lead me so tentatively to Lucy (and to Molly, unknowingly). My life would be less-so much less-without them. How did he know? He knows all, that's how.
10 comments:
I'm sorry to intrude on your personal blog...I hope you won't mind. I follow NieNie Dialogues and read your entry this morning. Your thoughts touched me. I have a sister moving her family this weekend across country and know the things you told your children will give her (and her children) great comfort, too. Thank you again for sharing your thoughts with us.
Carrie Page, UT
ncpage2007@yahoo.com
katie darling, thank you for this post. for sharing how the whispers of the spirit guided you to your daughters and them to you. for keeping in touch with that part of you that was receptive to those experiences, and for following through with them. and thanks for being the link to nienie that you are. for your faith and goodness and the manifestation of righteous living that your life exemplifies. i'm so grateful for your friendship!
♥
i too follow nienie and found your blog that way. what a heart felt post! the love of God truly shines thru you. i'd love to stop back here again:0)
I came upon your blog through Nie's website too but I have "known" you for longer than that. We lived in Chicago just after you and in Dallas around the same time. I think we even lived in the same apartment you did in Chicago. I think you also know my aunt- Laurie Clayton Leishman.
I know you're super busy but if you have a moment I would love if you would drop me a line at my email: db_liljenquist@yahoo.com
I have questions for you- I need some wisdom and you seem like someone who could share it with me.
I just browsed a few of your posts and I loved your thoughts. Thank you for sharing them so eloquently. Also, I am trying to spread the word about a project I am working on for Nie. I am hoping to gather quilt blocks to make new vintage quilts for her children. Here is my blog: quilt4nie.blogspot.com I am also on Nie's benefit blog. Thank you!
I clicked over from Nie's...while I read this post my heart began beating faster. Adoption is something very close to my heart, and I have seen it bless the lives of many. We have 3 children in our family and there's this whisper in my heart that someday we need to welcome children into our family through adoption. Thanks for helping me to see that it may not just be a dream.
Also over from Nie's.
You are such a talented writer! Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on Motherhood (before), I found them to be beautiful and insightful.
Hi Katie I love your picture. Lucy looks to sweet with her pigtails. Can't believe that you have been so long already in the States. She has grown so much since you left.
Thinking of you.
Lots of Love
Melissa South Africa
thank you for your post. I have 3 boys and my husband and I have recently started talking about the possibility of adoption. We can go for weeks and sometimes months never mentioning the subject but it seems to always come back. Your words really touched me, I hope I can be as in tune with the spirit.
we are all so grateful you listened to those promptings. thank you for being someone I can admire and look up to everyday.
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